There was a time in my life that was very dark.
Despite having done all the “right things” (full-term breastfeeding, attuned night-time parenting, readling allllll the best books), our 5 year old was extremely aggressive, volatile and anxious.
Something as simple as looking at him and smiling in a way he deemed “wrong” could evoke a meltdown and attack that included biting, kicking and punching us. Physically restraining him felt like the only way to keep my younger son safe, but I hated to do that. I was at such a loss, embarrassed, and also unsure of how to keep us all safe, and how to preserve my children’s hearts.
We toggled between denial, thinking that the only solution was time, and debating on next steps. I obsessed over positive discipline and argued with my husband when he handled outbursts in “the wrong way”. We fought. We waited it out. We tried various forms of therapy.
It was at a point that we were not even able to go to a clinician’s office, that was the extent of the explosiveness. ANYTHING, most things, set him off. A show he didn’t like coming on the TV. Making a mistake while drawing. Playing Legos. Losing a game. Grandma making a sarcastic joke. A dog crossing our path. So very many things. Living life was hard. Going anywhere was a daunting task I often could not muster the gumption to tackle.
We had one play therapist come over to do in-home work, and she was blown away by our complex little boy.
“Stop testing me!” he said, in response to her interactive, therapeutic games.
“I have never in my career, seen a child his age, as perceptive as he is!” She didn’t know how to do her job with him.
We switched it up, tried every form of therapy there was. We were eventually accepted into a government program that brought the counseling to us, in our home, due to the extenuating circumstances we were in.
We “graduated” early from that program, and I have it in writing on our paperwork that “changes in diet” were the main aspect that changed EVERYTHING for our family.
You would not think our diet was terrible, most people would say it was in fact, “normal” or average. But we did not realize the combination of factors at play, working against us physiologically and genetically.
I am grateful every day that I kept him from school, and homeschooled while we figured it all out. Had we forced a square peg in to a round hole, my mother’s intuition knows exactly how ugly that path would have been for all of us.
Our experience and witnessing that winter where everything changed, where the weight lifted and the clouds cleared, changed my path and passion forever.
The muse of mine first inspired my alternative to sleep-training, and little did he know he would later inspire me to share the critical link between behaviour and nutrition! I am incredibly blessed and and grateful every single day for my life and how it changed since becoming a mother.
In May 2018 I hosted a Facebook event that went viral, and 3.5K parents attended to hear what myself and a panel of experts had to say about nutrition and brain health. I finally spoke out about our story, and was able to reach many others to offer hope.
Here is our story. Please know you are not alone, and at any time, you can write a new chapter and change everything. I would love to help.